Week 40.
My mom called the doctor's office. I think I may be born today but not 100% sure. I think this snowstorm messed things up and I feel a little rushed.I would be lying if I said I have no qualms about leaving the safety of my insane but loving mother. There's like twelve storms coming this week, we did not win elections in El Salvy on the first round, plus Ukraine and Venezuela are in shambles as is Syria. The world seems out of balance. I guess I will just have to roll with it. I will play with my hands and self soothe until this is over.
Contractions started at 4 am , it is now eight o'clock at night and they don't seem to be getting any closer to each other. I guess we will just watch The Bachelor and then go to bed. maybe tomorrow is my day.
(later)
11:45 pm .....................or not. Contractions are rapidly getting more intense and closer to one another. Wuooooooooow, yup, five minutes apart. Mom's on the phone again with Dr. Carroll. She said to go to labor and delivery. It's go time. Breathe, Finn. You're about to join the world.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Bucket List
Week 38.
Things about the world that I look forward to:
1) Pearl Jam and Eric Church's music
2) Being read to and learning how to read
3) Being touched and hugged and kissed
4) Fall colors
5) Making a snowman
6) Boat rides
7) Candy
8) Having a best friend
9) Playing the guitar
10)A yellow lab
Things about the world that I look forward to:
1) Pearl Jam and Eric Church's music
2) Being read to and learning how to read
3) Being touched and hugged and kissed
4) Fall colors
5) Making a snowman
6) Boat rides
7) Candy
8) Having a best friend
9) Playing the guitar
10)A yellow lab
Anger Management
Week 37
Another day,another fight. Yesterday she got fired up at someone who cut in front of her in line while we were waiting to pay for stocking stuffers. Eventually a sensible soul gave her his spot so she'd let it lie and guided her to an open cashier. A normal human being would have taken this opportunity and buttoned it. Not my mother. My mother, friends, is a pitbull. Once she's got something in her jaw she doesn't let go until that thing is dead. She proceeded to call the woman out openly, then the woman's friend tried to justify it by saying they were shopping together, my mother basically called her a liar and then roped a baffled cash register lady into the whole thing. She didn't really get anything accomplished by all this but she says its the principle behind it that she's sticking up for. It's wrong to cut, period. It is stupid AND wrong to cut in front of a super pregnant lady. It is idiotic to do so when this lady is my mother.
Today, thanks to her anger issues, I will no longer be a member of Mommy and Me yoga when I am born. We attended prenatal yoga at Kai for exactly one month before she got into it with the check in girl. They argued over cancelled classes that were not made up for (which I agree with) but then that temper flared and what could have been a month of free yoga quickly turned into exile from the Kumbaya land when she threw the check in card in the girl's face declaring this to be, and I quote, "BULLSHIT".
Listen, I get it, she's irritable, hormones are doing their thing -but Boo Frapping Hoo, You're uncomfortable???? try crouching for nine months in an area the size of a balloon and tell me I didn't get the short end of THIS stick.
Another day,another fight. Yesterday she got fired up at someone who cut in front of her in line while we were waiting to pay for stocking stuffers. Eventually a sensible soul gave her his spot so she'd let it lie and guided her to an open cashier. A normal human being would have taken this opportunity and buttoned it. Not my mother. My mother, friends, is a pitbull. Once she's got something in her jaw she doesn't let go until that thing is dead. She proceeded to call the woman out openly, then the woman's friend tried to justify it by saying they were shopping together, my mother basically called her a liar and then roped a baffled cash register lady into the whole thing. She didn't really get anything accomplished by all this but she says its the principle behind it that she's sticking up for. It's wrong to cut, period. It is stupid AND wrong to cut in front of a super pregnant lady. It is idiotic to do so when this lady is my mother.
Today, thanks to her anger issues, I will no longer be a member of Mommy and Me yoga when I am born. We attended prenatal yoga at Kai for exactly one month before she got into it with the check in girl. They argued over cancelled classes that were not made up for (which I agree with) but then that temper flared and what could have been a month of free yoga quickly turned into exile from the Kumbaya land when she threw the check in card in the girl's face declaring this to be, and I quote, "BULLSHIT".
Listen, I get it, she's irritable, hormones are doing their thing -but Boo Frapping Hoo, You're uncomfortable???? try crouching for nine months in an area the size of a balloon and tell me I didn't get the short end of THIS stick.
Introduction to Pearl Jam
Week 36
So today we went to my dad's building for a taping of Jimmy Fallon. My father works for ad sales at NBC and one of the perks is we get to go to different shows that air on the network. Today the guests are: a girl from Modern Family whose name I forget,along with Saul from Homeland whose real name is Mandy Petomkin(love) and Dirks Bentley singing Alive with the Pearl Jam band. I love listening to music so I kick and bounce around in my mom's belly. The Roots and the Pearl Jam guitarist were so wicked good that the whole thing almost made me abandon my Harvard dreams and pursue a career in music instead. Almost.
So today we went to my dad's building for a taping of Jimmy Fallon. My father works for ad sales at NBC and one of the perks is we get to go to different shows that air on the network. Today the guests are: a girl from Modern Family whose name I forget,along with Saul from Homeland whose real name is Mandy Petomkin(love) and Dirks Bentley singing Alive with the Pearl Jam band. I love listening to music so I kick and bounce around in my mom's belly. The Roots and the Pearl Jam guitarist were so wicked good that the whole thing almost made me abandon my Harvard dreams and pursue a career in music instead. Almost.
Skin Flint
Week 35
Apparently my room is ready.It has all been done in what she calls vintage.You know what I call it? USED.
Apparently my room is ready.It has all been done in what she calls vintage.You know what I call it? USED.
Good Guys and Bad Guys
Week 34.
Mother and I have this thing where we keep track of good and bad guy days. She read it in some book I think. Today the good guys are winning. We heard from three of her most geographically far away friends, all whom she has not seen in years and they all said really nice things. Also, a stranger on the train bought us Welch's gummy snacks in strawberry flavor (my favorite). Some dude was selling them for charity and of course my mother had no cash, but that did not keep her from pointing out that those gummies are her favorite snack. A minute later the guy came back and handed my mom the gummies. She insisted that she didn't have the cash to pay for them so she couldn't take them and at that moment the guy said "no problem, someone already paid for you". I thought that was really nice. I wonder if she would have gotten those had she not been so obviously pregnant with me... In any case , it was a super nice gesture and it eases my fears about coming out the womb and into the world. News on tv sounds awful, but I guess not all human beings are like that. There's always the good guys, who on certain days, win. I'd like to be one of them.
Mother and I have this thing where we keep track of good and bad guy days. She read it in some book I think. Today the good guys are winning. We heard from three of her most geographically far away friends, all whom she has not seen in years and they all said really nice things. Also, a stranger on the train bought us Welch's gummy snacks in strawberry flavor (my favorite). Some dude was selling them for charity and of course my mother had no cash, but that did not keep her from pointing out that those gummies are her favorite snack. A minute later the guy came back and handed my mom the gummies. She insisted that she didn't have the cash to pay for them so she couldn't take them and at that moment the guy said "no problem, someone already paid for you". I thought that was really nice. I wonder if she would have gotten those had she not been so obviously pregnant with me... In any case , it was a super nice gesture and it eases my fears about coming out the womb and into the world. News on tv sounds awful, but I guess not all human beings are like that. There's always the good guys, who on certain days, win. I'd like to be one of them.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Smart Dumb People
Week 33
Despite her shortcomings I have never thought of my mother as dumb. I have heard her discuss the debt ceiling, give (sometimes unsolicited) good advice and winning 99.9% of the arguments she has had with my dad. She also has a law degree, and those aren't easy to get. This is why it surprises me when she goes ahead and does the dumbest s**t. Today she flooded her office's one shared bathroom by repeatedly pulling on the little lever until water spilled everywhere and out into the hallway. This really nice dude, Reid, helped her clean up the mess.I hope she doesn't give me away to him as a thank you, because he's gay and she owes him big time.
Despite her shortcomings I have never thought of my mother as dumb. I have heard her discuss the debt ceiling, give (sometimes unsolicited) good advice and winning 99.9% of the arguments she has had with my dad. She also has a law degree, and those aren't easy to get. This is why it surprises me when she goes ahead and does the dumbest s**t. Today she flooded her office's one shared bathroom by repeatedly pulling on the little lever until water spilled everywhere and out into the hallway. This really nice dude, Reid, helped her clean up the mess.I hope she doesn't give me away to him as a thank you, because he's gay and she owes him big time.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Frienemies
Week 32
Ryan Longmire is coming over tonight, supposedly to help my dad carry my changing table to my room. Who knows? maybe it's just a decoy to bring up the baby black market convo again. I will not be fooled by the things he does, I heard him say to my dad once that he could get good coin for selling me. IN PARTS. He would probably go as far as to broker the deal , too. Note to self: Put Ryan Longmire on "Not to be Trusted" list, right up there with my crazy cousin.
Ryan Longmire is coming over tonight, supposedly to help my dad carry my changing table to my room. Who knows? maybe it's just a decoy to bring up the baby black market convo again. I will not be fooled by the things he does, I heard him say to my dad once that he could get good coin for selling me. IN PARTS. He would probably go as far as to broker the deal , too. Note to self: Put Ryan Longmire on "Not to be Trusted" list, right up there with my crazy cousin.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Babymoon
Week 31
This week we all went on a trip to a place called Nashville. My mother kept calling it a babymoon and it was cool because my dad came too. Once again I got on an airplane where my mother proceeded to adjust that seat belt just a liiiiiittle too tightly. The rest of the trip I can't complain about , though. (Except for a couple of times when I was shaken awake by what seemed like an earthquake.Still trying to figure out what that was.)The rest of the time she ate fried pickles, biscuits (love) and listened to country music (love). Also, we went to a store called Vintage Baby and she bought me a Coming Home outfit complete with booties. AND I scored my very own bow tie. I am well on the way to becoming the gentleman I want to be.
This week we all went on a trip to a place called Nashville. My mother kept calling it a babymoon and it was cool because my dad came too. Once again I got on an airplane where my mother proceeded to adjust that seat belt just a liiiiiittle too tightly. The rest of the trip I can't complain about , though. (Except for a couple of times when I was shaken awake by what seemed like an earthquake.Still trying to figure out what that was.)The rest of the time she ate fried pickles, biscuits (love) and listened to country music (love). Also, we went to a store called Vintage Baby and she bought me a Coming Home outfit complete with booties. AND I scored my very own bow tie. I am well on the way to becoming the gentleman I want to be.
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